Do you dream? No, I am not talking about “build it and they will come”, dream but the kind you have to be asleep for. I am a vivid dreamer. I have been in many tornadoes where I can’t find my children. I have been killed by someone at my doorstep. I have seen relatives die. I have the occasional classic where I am falling. I have many good dreams as well but last night falls under the category of nightmare. The mentioned dreams I have had have shook me a bit and often times wake me up. However, lasts nights shook me and gave me a newfound appreciation for what I have. For those of you that know me best I thought you might appreciate the inner workings of my mind. For those of you married maybe this will give you a new appreciation for you spouse.
I found myself in a classroom setting of some kind. Not a high school or college classroom but more like the inside of a pole building with chairs. I was laughing and carrying on with some friends when one of them said “I can’t believe you are getting married on Saturday”. “What?”, I said. He proceeded to point out the girl I was “marrying” on Saturday. It was not my wife. Now I felt like I was stepping into the twilight zone. “I already am married” I said. He proceeded to tell me my wife died but at least I am going to be a grandpa. I don’t know how I didn’t wake up yet but I hadn’t. To add to the dilemma apparently my new bride to be didn’t talk much or just didn’t like me. Did I have amnesia? What happened to my wife? How is my daughter pregnant? Why am I getting married to someone that doesn’t talk to me?
The dream moves quickly ahead to the wedding day. I am watching it in third person. I am seeing this all trying to get my own attention to stop this madness. Fast forward again to the hotel and no this is not rated R. I find Hope there. What? Now how do I explain this? What is going on here? I am so glad to see her I leave the hotel room and talk with Hope. Yet she gives me no clues as to what is going on. I just know that it sure is nice to have a wife that talks to me and loves me. However, I am married to this other person now. I feel depression setting in. So much so that I jumped in a car with my nephews. If you know my nephews then you know this must have been a suicide attempt. Of all things that wakes me up.
Upon awaking, I gave my wife the biggest hug and told her how much I appreciate her. I cannot imagine being in a marriage that does not include my best friend. I am truly blessed.
I think this may have stemmed from a recent tragedy. Last weekend a friend passed away. He has five kids and they are around the ages of my kids. He died suddenly on Saturday morning from what is believed to be a heart attack. It was a good reminder that our days are numbered. Enjoy the ones you have left. Love extravagantly those around you. And by all means don’t marry someone who doesn’t talk to you.
I hope you enjoyed getting inside my brain for a moment. Have a great week. Kraig
PS-I got the book Fearless in the mail yesterday by Max Lucado. After being shaken from my dream, fear of losing my wife was definitely in my mind. I decided to start reading it before finishing the current book I was reading.